When Life Feels Unfair but Isn’t
A few years ago, I worked with two ladies. Let’s just call them Leah and Jenny.
They were both personal assistants, had the same pay and equal opportunities but after six months, Leah got promoted and Jenny was fired.
This was not office politics or anything like that. Leah got that promotion because she deserved it. It was not about her résumé but her lifestyle. She was always early, remained very humble, reliable and full of life but Jenny stressed everyone out. She was brilliant but lacked character. She was always late, never sorry for her mess, very inconsistent and careless. All the projects handed over to her never ended well and she always had an excuse for every failure.
This was getting so tiring and the boss had to send her away.
This broke her, she really needed the job because that was her only source of income. I remember how hard she cried that morning begging for a second chance. Everyone pitied her but sadly, the boss didn’t change her mind. Well, nothing just happens in life and destiny is not an accident. It is built and Characterdetermines how far we can go in life.
I learnt this truth that has kept me going after that day:
Destiny doesn’t choose us. We choose it…through who we become.
Jenny chose her path as she acted so carelessly. No one hated her, she brought that upon herself.
This is the foundation of How Character Becomes Destiny, a law that will always remain in life. It teaches a lot about personal growth and spiritual transformation.
The Hidden Law That Shapes Every Life
If you think back and sincerely check how things have turned out for you, you will see that everything is a result of your thoughts, words, actions and character that finally forms your destiny.
That is the law that shapes every life.
THOUGHTS → WORDS → ACTIONS → HABITS → CHARACTER → DESTINY.
This law works for everyone and you know the interesting part of it?
You cannot skip any step. Each must be followed because that is how you get to Destiny. They may seem little but the impact is very great, just like little building blocks that form a story building at the end of the day.
Tom Rowland’s blog post clearly explained that when he said “Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character and your character determines your destiny.”
This is How Character Becomes Destiny. It reminds us that things don’t just happen in life. The habits we repeat everyday gradually makes us who we become in the future.
Let’s explain each step of this law and see how it all plays out in everyday life.
1. It All Begins With Thought: The Silent Architect
Everything about life begins in the mind. It is said that the mind is the battleground of life and so, however you think shows how far you will get to in life. Leah and Jenny did not just get into that office with their résumés, they went in there with their thoughts. One chose to think right and handle her job with everything in her but the other didn’t think right and that affected her results.
Leah did not just work harder than Jenny but she thought differently. Our thoughtsare so powerful. When Leah had a lot of work on her table, she chose to be grateful and not complain. She saw every reason to be angry as an opportunity to grow.
Jenny, on the other hand, allowed bad thoughts and it affected her results. She saw tasks as punishments and never believed she could do better.
Our thoughts are silent killers or builders. They quietly form our attitudes even before we recognize how far it has come. If you are a small thinker, you will surely act small but if you think big, it will also show. Be careful what goes into your mind because it controls you.
It was said in Character.org’s article on forming character, that “Every thought we allow becomes a seed that eventually grows into behavior.”
This is why it is very important to understand your mindset change. Be present in your journey, understand your owncharacter building and personal growth so that you can make changes when and where necessary.
Tom Rowland said, “It is very difficult to have complete control over our thoughts, but with awareness, we can direct them to create the results we want.”
That is it!
Being self-aware is very important and will save you from a lot. You may not have control over every thought that flies into your mind but you decide which stays dominant by the things you feed your mind with.
You become what you think. So, if you want to change the direction of your destiny or understand How Character Becomes Destiny, start working on the way you think.
Always find out the thoughts sitting firm in your mind.
Also ensure that they are taking you towards the path you desire for your life.
2. Words: The Seeds That Turn Thoughts Into Reality
The things we say often have a way of shaping the things we see. Words are not just words, they are living seedsthat grow and germinate actions which later becomes habits.
That’s why ancient wisdom says, “Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words;they become actions.”
Abraham Joshua Heschel also said, “Words create worlds.”
This is so true. Every time you let words out of your mouth, you are creating a reality, either a good or bad one. This means that you can create your tomorrow with the words of your mouth today. If you always use words of anger, you will definitely be an angry fellow.
Why?
You created an angry world for yourself.
Leah always had something positive to say, her words brought peace and hope, she never complained or gossiped but always encouraged everyone to see possibilities.
However, Jenny always had frustrating words to say. She focused on problems and not the way forward, this made her frustrated all the time.
Luck didn’t happen to Leah, her language created her life and made things work out better for her. The kind of words you say shows how much you believe in yourself. If you are the type that always says ‘I can’t, your life will be full of impossibilities. You will struggle to achieve anything but if you are the type that believes that things can be done, your life will also be full of results and possibilities.
Always speak the kind of life you desire. Speak like who you want to become. This is very practical and real.
Just like the Better Humans community explains that the kind of words we use shows how we are on the inside They show our level of thinking. The first way to know how a person thinks is to listen to the words he says which later develop into actions and habits that shape destiny.
3. Actions: Where Character Begins to Take Shape
Anybody can say whatever they wish to become but what really matters is what you do everyday. Your actions show if you will become what you desire.
Leah did not just cross her legs waiting for when she thinks she’s ready, oh no!
She always acted ready, doing her best for every task. Leah was never careless with anything and we could see that in the way she handled all the projects given to her. All these were evidences of her inner character building.
Actions, they say, speak louder than words. It is very easy to talk but not as easy to act and that is why actions show the real values of people.
The way you act is a bridge between the things you say and who you really are. You know a disciplined person by their daily actions and not by how much they claim to be disciplined.
Jenny on the other hand, was also smart but acted really careless. She ignored instructions, always acted wrongly and this created her world. Life was not unfair to her; her actions did not match what she would have wanted to become.
Your actions show your beliefs. If you truly believe in yourself, it will show in the way you act. In fact, every result you see today is a product of little actions here and there.
This is really How Character Becomes Destiny because every result we can clearly see today started with actions that seem little but very consistent.
4. Habits: The Silent Sculptors of Your Future
It is very easy to call all that someone has achieved ‘luck’ but that is so unfair because if you look closely, you will see habits, which are actions repeated overtime.
Habits are the things we do regularly even without thinking that shape our life and future. They may seem little but the consistency makes them strong enough to affect our lives.
Habits take you closer to destiny and it is okay to call them the quiet promises you make to yourself and your future. The daily choice we make shows us How Character Becomes Destiny.
Leah did not just wake up to become someone very reliable and dependable. She started with some repeated actions which turned into habits. She was always early, tried to listen and pay attention to details, making sure she meets every target. These little little choices formed the habits that silently built her character.
Jenny was also talented but her habits were careless. She arrived late everyday, never met her targets, hated corrections and consistently disobeyed instructions. Her brilliance and intelligence gave her the job but her terrible habits made her lose it.
Talents may open a door for you but your success habitswill keep it open.
Tom Rowland’s two-boats analogy described this in the best way:
“Imagine two boats leaving the same harbor. One veers just a few degrees off course. At first, it’s barely noticeable. But miles later, they’re oceans apart.”
That is exactly how habits quietly shape your life. It may just be you trying to be disciplined in your little way today and then, tomorrow, you are being a little more consistent. In no time, you will wake up to the life you have always desired because you put in the work.
But if you ignore all the efforts you should have put in, things will never work out well and you begin to feel like life did not treat you well. No, the destiny you wished for didn’t get lost. You just went another way.
The Better Humans article on destiny and character explains this the best way: small behavioural changes add up to give you a different identity which shapes destiny. That is personal growth, noticing your habits and always choosing the better ones for a better life.
5. Character: The Foundation That Holds Everything Together
Character is who you really are when you are alone.
It is the choice you make and the way you behave when you don’t have anything to gain or no one to impress.
Every thought, every word and every way you consistently act helps to shape who you are. They all form your character.
Leah was not promoted just because she performed well but because her excellent performance was consistent, that was her character. People could easily trust her because they had watched her deliver every single time. She didn’t need to announce her reliability to anymore because it was clear.
That is what true character buildingdoes, it says a lot about you even when you are silent. You don’t need to say a word, people know you by your character.
Jenny on the other hand was not consistent. She will do well this week and will mess things up the next week. She was not reliable and people could not trust her.
And that’s the thing about Destiny. You become who you really are and not who you pretend to be.
This simply shows you How Character Becomes Destiny.
Character is not built in a day. Every thought you give attention to, every decision you make, every word you say, every reaction you give or promise you make all add up to forming your character and the person you are becoming. It always shows if you are ready for the next level of life or not.
That is why when your characterbecomes strong, you begin to attract better opportunities, people trust you more and things seem to work better, not because you forced them but because you earned it all.
The research on Character.org explains that virtues like honesty, humility and perseverance are choices that shape your destiny.
Just like spiritual growth. It’s not about the biggest ritual but about the tiny consistent steps that makes you better or stronger.
6. Destiny: The Life You Quietly Built
When we see people who have successful results, we are so attracted by the success because that’s all we see. The beauty, fame, money, stage and all are all we are interested in but beyond all that are the little little choices they made when no one was watching.
They didn’t do things like every other person, they didn’t and still do not think like everyone. They developed themselves and fought hard to achieve their dreams.
Destiny is not an accident. You don’t just wake up to see that you have arrived destiny successfully. No, it is evidence of all you have been doing before then. It is simply your character made visible.
Leah didn’t just stumble into success, she made choices that landed her there. It was one step at a time. She prepared for it and was ready when it came. Every little habit, like discipline, being humble, coming early made her ready. She didn’t just wish for a better life, she prepared for it.
Jenny also wanted a successful life. She would have also loved to be promoted and not sacked but she didn’t build herself for such life. There was no hard work and so, her dreams did not last. The truth of this whole thing is that you cannot maintain a destiny your character is not strong enough to carry.
So, the next time you notice a successful person, don’t just wish to get there. Pay close attention to their character building because every successful person followed the law of How Character Becomes Destiny.
Thoughts → Words → Actions → Habits → Character → Destiny.
That is the secret behind success and personal growth. It is not magic. You just have to intentionally follow the steps and you will also get there.
7. Two Paths: Fulfilled vs. Frustrated Destiny
Life always presents choices to us but hardly gives second chances. Every choice you make takes you closer to either a fulfilled destiny or a frustrated one.
A fulfilled destiny is the kind of life that gives peace, satisfaction and joy but a frustrated one is the kind of life that is below what you desire. It is a result of poor choices or character and it brings sadness, depression and regrets.
Fulfilled Destiny–Traits That Build It
- Discipline
- Integrity
- Diligence
- Consistency
- Humility
- Patience
- Teachability
- Accountability
- Perseverance
- Gratitude
These traits open doors, bring peace and opportunities your way. The right people are also drawn to you. They take you closer to that life you have always desired because the results never lie.
Frustrated Destiny – Traits That Destroy It
- Laziness
- Procrastination
- Pride
- Dishonesty
- Irresponsibility
- Carelessness
- Inconsistency
- Defensiveness
- Impatience
These traits kill and destroy your progress. If you’re dreaming big and still have these traits, your dreams can’t be fulfilled because they work against you, delay your results and give you what you deserve. Life does not respond to your wishes but to who you really are.
That’s How Character Becomes Destiny. This is not just a topic to be discussed, it helps in mindset changeand strengthens us to develop success habitsthat will take us to our desired destiny.
8. How to Build a Character That Shapes Destiny
Motivation without work does not bring results. You just have to take some steps to see that your character is transformed because that is what shapes your destiny.
Let’s see the steps to take:
Guard Your Mind:
Ensure that the only thing that goes into your mind are things that will take you to where you are going. Let go of negative thoughts and keep feeding your mind with the right words, words of truth, faith and discipline. Develop your mind in readiness of greater levels in life.
- Choose Your Words Carefully:
Be careful of the things you say because your words create your world. Speak life and progress even when things don’t seem to go the way you want. Ignore the things happening and create your own world with the words of your mouth.
- Act Intentionally:
Don’t sit waiting for the moment you think you will be ready. Take the necessary steps first, and as long as your mind is made up, it will all add up. Act like one who deserves a better life. You don’t act carelessly when you want to be the best graduating student. You act like a winner if you really want to be a winner and as you act intentionally, more motivation comes.
- Form Consistent Habits:
Find the habits that you need for where you are going and form them. Start doing them regularly till they become a part of you. That way, you are taking faster steps to the destiny you desire. - Examine Your Character Often:
Try to always check how far you have come. Examine your character regularly and see if you are getting better or not. This will help you know how best to shape your destiny
When you do things like this, you don’t even have to pursue destiny and kill yourself to achieve a dream. Destiny will come looking for you because you deserve that life you desire.
It is not magic but a simple way of How Character Becomes Destiny that is seen from habits that shape destiny and intentional personal growth.
9. The Mirror Called Life
Life never lies, it simply tells you who you are. If the things happening around you are not what you desire, it does not mean that life chose to be unfair to you. It means there is something inside of you that needs to change.
Your life today shows the choices you made yesterday, it projects the words you have spoken and the kind of things you fed your mind with but the comforting part of this is that you can always start over. Yes, you can correct your mistakes.
There is that grace to make wrongs right. You can work on your mind, make better choices, speak right words and build your character again.
Every new day gives you an opportunity to be better, it is a room for personal growthand mindset changeto help shape your destiny in a better way.
This life does not care to know your wishes, it only responds to character building and once your characteris in line with what you are called to be, then, destiny will definitely work in your favour.
Just like the expert at Character.org explains, consistent integrity and moral courage don’t just make you a good person, they make sure that you are ready for what destiny has for you. That’s the influence of spiritual growth, that’s what it looks like.
10. Final Reflection: When Destiny Finally Recognizes You
Everyone comes to that point in life where it is no more about the good things people have to say of you but about the real you. That moment you look into the mirror and your real self stares back at you. At that point, no one is cheering you on and nobody is smiling at you for one great thing you did.
That’s when reality sets in and it happens frequently to people who love to look inward for the truth no matter what every other person is saying. It always feels like life is asking you ‘Are you ready now?’
This question tries to check how ready you are for what you want because life does not give us what we wish, pray or desire but what we can handle and are really ready for. It responds to who you have become.
And if you are not ready, it hangs on until your character aligns with your calling.
The moment the person you are when no one sees you is the same with who you are publicly, then, life starts turning out better for you. This is the message of How Character Becomes Destiny. It is real and very practical.
Leah was not accidentally or luckily promoted. She had the potentials the promotion was looking for. That office wanted a certain kind of person and she was fit for the job. She gradually became that woman the promotion wanted.
Jenny on the other hand, didn’t build herself. There was no foundation and so, the same struggles they faced at work brought out different sides of them. It frustrated Jenny but beautified Leah because she had the capacity to carry it. Destiny really shows the strength we have.
Any Destiny that is bigger than your character cannot be sustained. So, life happens to you at the level of what you can carry. When you grow and develop your character, big and better things will happen for you.
So, if you feel reverted by life at this moment, it is not rejection. You may need to grow; you may need to develop yourself and reach for better things. Heaven is most likely holding unto that blessing you desire because if it’s given to you, it will destroy you. Anything heavier than you will crush you.
When things are delayed, find the lesson in that experience, learn and apply it. You will see that the delay will end because destiny does not go after people, it responds to the right fellows.
It goes for the serious minded
It goes for those that keep pushing even when there is no reason to.
It goes for the brave, intentional and hardworking ones.
And that way, when destiny finally happens, it will not look like luck, magic or mistake. You will feel very deserving. People will know that you earned it.
Keep becoming, keep pushing. The more right choices you make, the closer you are to your desired destiny.
Destiny is not somewhere in the future waiting for you. It is already in you and you can know it through your thoughts, words, actions, habits that all make up your character. As you read this article, look inwards and examine yourself. If you can be honest, you will be sure of the direction you are heading towards.
Your thoughts, words, actions and all we have talked about earlier are building blocks for your destiny and if you build well, you will have a beautiful life like Leah but if you don’t, you will also end up with pain and regrets like Jenny.
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