The Question That Changes Everything
Should cheating end a relationship or marriage? Cheating feels like a punch to the gut. It knocks the air out of your relationship. Suddenly, the foundation you thought was solid cracks wide open. Your heart is screaming one thing — leave them — but your mind is spinning in a dozen different directions. Is this really the end? Can we come back from this? Should I forgive them?
The truth is messy. Infidelity doesn’t always mean a relationship is doomed. And staying doesn’t always mean you’re weak. This post breaks down the hard truths about cheating — why it happens, what counts as cheating, how to handle it, and when it’s time to fight or walk away.
What Counts as Cheating in a Relationship?
When a person betrays your trust, emotional Investment, or even your commitment, the person has cheated on you. What cheating means to one couple might be different from another couple. However, let’s look at how cheating is viewed in real life.
1. Sexual Cheating
This type is very common. Sleeping with someone who isn’t your partner. This type of betrayal is physical and leaves the deepest scars in a person’s heart. When this happens, trust is broken. There’d be lots of secrecy and lies. It often leads people to ask : Should cheating end a relationship?
2. Emotional Cheating
Betrayal does not have to even touch. If you invest your emotions into someone who isn’t your partner, you are cheating on your partner. Emotional cheating includes; venting confiding, bonding and even fantasizing. This is honestly worse than physical cheating because in no time such a person will loose interest in his own partner and find himself wanting this person he’s emotionally cheating with. It usually starts with “just friends” and before we say “Jack Robinson” boundaries have been far crossed.
When you find yourself getting emotionally attached to someone other than your partner. Watch it!
3. Online Affairs
Technology is a blessing however, it has become the reason why many persons have cheated on their partners without ever leaving their room. When you sex text, send flirty messages, secret Snapchat messages and have late night chats with someone other than your partner. You are cheating. They do not have to involve physical touch, however they can be considered as betrayal because they are intimate and secret. Such intimacy should be shared with only your partner and no one else. This takes us to this question: Should cheating end a relationship, even when it’s only online?
4. Financial Infidelity
Money secrets — Some people have hidden accounts, gamble and even buy secret gifts for people who are not their partner. Some even go as far as spending joint savings without the consent of their partners, there by breaking the trust. When you do this, you are cheating on your partner.
5. Romantic Feelings for Someone Else
Crushing to some is a normal thing. We do it all the time. However, when that crush migrates into having a romantic feeling and deep love for someone else while still in a relationship with your partner, you are cheating.
6. Physical Affair Without Sex
Kissing, cuddling, or physical closeness without sex can still cross lines. It’s about intent and secrecy — would you do it in front of your partner? If not, it’s probably cheating.
7. Fantasizing About Someone Else
We all have thoughts, but if you’re constantly fantasizing about someone specific — especially someone you interact with — and it affects your emotional availability to your partner, that’s a red flag.
8. Pouring Time Into a Hobby or Another Person
Giving your full, undivided attention to something or someone and neglecting your partner i.e; a game, colleague at work, or even a friend, you are cheating. Because you are simply giving your emotional energy to someone else. This is very unfair to your partner. Even though it does not involve sex, it is still considered as cheating.
9. Micro-Cheating
When you delete text messages, hide your phone, put passwords on every app, you are giving the idea that you might walk out of the relationship any time. It also gives the signal that you might not always be emotionally available and this is cheating.
10. Commemorative Fidelity
This is when someone stays faithful physically but has emotionally checked out. The relationship is dead, but they don’t cheat — technically. This creates a false sense of loyalty but leaves the other person starved for love, respect, or connection.
Why Do People Cheat?
People don’t cheat only when they aren’t in love. There are a lot of reasons why people cheat on their partners. Some people cheat for these reasons:
1. Lack of Emotional Connection
If a person doesn’t feel like his partner is being there for him or her emotionally, that person might start cheating with someone he or she feels has his or her time. People are looking for who they can have interesting conversations with, gist with and share life dreams and goals with. Some are looking for who they can be intimate with. If you can’t share such with your partner, he or she might give in to cheating.
2. Revenge or Resentment
When people are angry at their partners they can decide to cheat on they as their way of getting revenge. It could be that they were hurt, betrayed, ignored or even abused. It’s a very toxic situation and can cause serious damage to a relationship. Revenge is very common in many relationships however, on a few actually admit it.
3. Low Self-Esteem or Body Image Issues
When cheat to get their partners to be interested in them again. When a person isn’t seen as attractive by his or her partner, the person my decide to get that admiration from outside. This eventually results in cheating.
4. Addiction
When a person is addicted, he or she does not have self control. Some people are addicted to sex, attention and even drugs. This is not an excuse to cheat. However, a lot of persons have cheated for these reasons
5. Fear of Commitment
Some people can’t imagine being with one person forever. In order to end their relationship, they involve themselves with other people. The thought of having to do forever with someone scares them.
6. Unmet Sexual Desires
Especially if their partner keeps rejecting them
Sex is good and should be enjoyed by the partners in a relationship. However, this is the reason a lot if persons have cheated in their partners. Some people will rather cheat on their partner, than stay faithful and have a terrible sex life.
7. Feeling Neglected
Whether it is emotionally, physically or even spiritually, when you neglect a person, the person will become vulnerable to someone else who actually cares. When you ignore your partner and make the person feel invisible, you are opening up the door for the person to cheat on you.
8. Lack of Care or Financial Support
When a person feels used by his or her partner, the person might start looking outside for help. A lot of times, in the process of seeking help, many people have eventually ended up cheating on their partners, especially when they’ve been the ones carrying the emotional and financial load in the relationship.
9. Incompatibility
Some people stay with someone they know aren’t good for them.They tell themselves that things will change, the person will get better etc. however, when the change does not come, they get themselves involved with other people thereby cheating on their partners.
How to Deal With Cheating in a Relationship
There are two things you can do when cheating has happened in your relationship. It’s either you heal with your partner or you heal alone. However, just make sure you heal.
1. Own Your Emotions
Don’t hold back any emotion. Allow yourself to feel that anger, sadness and pain. Cry in fact. This will help you process the betrayal and start the journey of healing.
2. Accept That It Happened
If you refuse to accept the truth, you will delay your healing. Face facts. Face the reality and accept the truth about what happened
3. Try Open & Honest Communication
Ask questions. Be honest. Listen — and speak. Even if it’s painful, you need to know the why, not just the what. The truth helps rebuild or give closure.
4. Tackle All Relationship Issues
Cheating is usually the symptom. Get curious: What was going wrong before it happened? Was it lack of communication? Was I holding a grudge against my partner? Did I feel emotionally distant from him?
5. Try Rebuilding Trust
To build trust again, transparency, consistency and patience is needed. The cheater has to earn the trust of his partner, and his partner has to be willing to trust him again. It is a slow process.
6. Consider Couples Therapy
Sometimes you need a neutral space and trained support. Therapy gives you tools to rebuild or part ways in a healthy, mature way.
7. Forgive — If You Can
Forgiveness is for your own peace. Even if you leave, forgiving helps you heal. But don’t fake it — it only works when it’s real.
8. Decide If It’s Time to Walk Away
Not every relationship survives betrayal. And that’s okay. You have to decide if staying is good for your mental and emotional well-being.
Should Cheating End a Relationship Automatically?
It depends — and that’s the hard truth. Blanket advice like “Once a cheater, always a cheater” doesn’t fit every situation. Some couples heal and come back stronger. Others try and only destroy themselves further.
Here’s what you should ask yourself:
1. What Exactly Happened?
All cheating are not the same. Was my partner drunk and they had sex that once? Was the affair for just six months? How deep did this affair go?
2. Can You Genuinely Forgive?
We don’t forgive by just saying “I forgive you”. It is a process. If you don’t think you can forgive this person and trust him again, then there’s no point staying in the relationship. You will only prolong your pain.
3. Are You Both Committed to Rebuilding?
To build the relationship again, the both of you have to be involved. If it’s only one partner that is willing to heal and grow, then the relationship will not succeed.
4. Does Staying Violate Your Beliefs or Values?
Why bother be in a relationship with a cheater when you know you are an advocate for monogamy? This will ruin your self respect after a while.
5. Has This Happened Before?
When a person has been known to cheat over and over again. You don’t need to give that person another chance to cheat on you. He or she should learn the consequences of their actions. Walk out on them and that relationship. It has no future.
6. How Bad Is the Emotional Damage?
Sometimes, heartbreak can hurt so badly. If you can’t eat, sleep, or trust anything anymore, leaving might be the healthiest move.
7. Is There Real Remorse and Accountability?
Saying “I’m sorry” isn’t enough. Are they showing up, taking ownership, changing their behavior?
8. Do You Trust Yourself to Leave Again If Needed?
It’s not about trusting them. It’s about trusting you — to walk away if you’re ever disrespected again.
Rebuilding Trust: The 3 Non-Negotiables
If you’re staying, there are three things you must have:
1. Total Transparency
No more secrets. Everything must be on the table — passwords, conversations, fears, triggers. Trust can’t survive in the dark.
2. Commitment to the Process
Healing doesn’t happen by accident. It requires therapy, open talks, structure, boundaries, and daily effort.
3. Clarity on What You Both Need
Each of you must spell out what rebuilding looks like. Maybe it’s location sharing. Maybe it’s therapy. Maybe it’s checking in daily. Spell it out — or it won’t work.
You both should come to an agreement on what rebuilding means to you. Is it sharing location, or visiting a therapist or checking in on each other daily. Just State it clearly or the
Conclusion: The Hard Truth
Cheating doesn’t have to mean the end. But it also doesn’t mean you have to stay and suffer. Only you can decide what’s right for your life.
Stop focusing on whether you can trust them again. Focus on trusting yourself — your gut, your limits, your ability to walk if you need to.
Some couples come out stronger. Some end their relationship. Some should end it.😁. And that’s just fine. At the end of the day, only you can answer the question: Should cheating end a relationship?
FAQs
Can a relationship survive cheating?
Yes it can. However, it doesn’t happen immediately. It will take time, honestly, effort of both partners and even help from professionals.
Is emotional cheating worse than physical?
Well, this depends on the people involved. To some persons emotional betrayal is more painful and hard to forgive
How long does it take to rebuild trust?
It depends on the type of betrayal and the people involved. Some take months, some even years. Trust is a process. You just have to keep proving yourself to your partner. This best thing is to not cheat in the first place
Should I confront the person my partner cheated with?
You can, but it rarely brings peace. Your relationship is with your partner — that’s where your energy should go.
Action Steps if You’re Healing
- Write down in your note how you feel everyday.
- State what and what you can and can’t tolerate
- Pay attention to yourself. Make sure you are healthy physically and emotionally.
- Make out time and speak with a therapist. You can do this alone so that you’d be able to freely pour your heart out.
- There’s no need to hide. Tell somebody you trust how you are feeling.
- Give yourself time to heal. You don’t need to rush your healing.
Don’t miss this read: Why Love Alone Cant Sustain a Relationship and What Actually Does 2025
